Effective Communication

Effective communication is an essential tool for every aspect of our busy lives.  It is impossible not to communicate, whether in a verbal or non-verbal way.  There are many forms of communication all around us, written, electronic, verbal and non-verbal.  Many of us have heard that about 85 – 90% of the message we convey is non-verbal, through body language.

The effectiveness of verbal communication relies more heavily on how well people listen rather than how they talk.  Listening requires more than just “hearing” what someone is saying, it requires understanding the full message that someone is communicating.  The full message is more than just words and facts, it includes the individuals’ communication style, their attitude and emotion that they are feeling in relation to the words and facts.

Some everyday factors that interfere with effective listening are pre-occupation or pretending to listen while thinking of something else, hearing only the parts that interest us, listening only for the facts, rapid thought – our brain capacity is 600 wpm and our speech is only 100 – 140 wpm and message overload.  Many of us are thinking about our response to the speaker rather than fully listening to what is being said or trying to determine/predict what is going to be said.

Below are some tips to become a more effective listener:

·         Give the speaker your full attention – focus on their words and body language, clear your mind of everything else

·         Make sure your body language is neutral and open – if you’re body language is closed off, the speaker may not reveal the whole message

·         Respect the speaker’s point of view, keep an open mind

·         Paraphrase – paraphrasing is not repeating exactly what the speaker said but using your own words to repeat the message.  Repeating verbatim shows that you heard what was being said but not that you understood what was being said.

·         Ask questions and clarify what’s being said

·         Ask open ended questions

·         Don’t interrupt – ask questions then be quiet

·         Concentrate on really listening, avoid distractions

·         “Digest” what is said and listen for or suggest ideas

·         Use eye contact

Our communication is affected by our own anxieties, fears and anticipations about how the other person will respond.  The challenge for any listener is to see through all of that to get to the real message.